ONTD

9:43 pm - 11/17/2009

Actual Men Threatened By Sparkly Vampire

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We all know how the women feel. What about their husbands?! As Details tells us, they don't get it.

As we now know, all women over 35 are obsessed with Edward Cullen. This 46-year-old apparently speaks for her entire sisterhood when she says "I dream about him. I dream explicit dreams about Edward. You can't put down what I dream about Edward. It is very, very erotic. It's not Rob Pattinson. It's Edward." Yeah, we know. We're well aware of how women feel about the 108-year-old teen and the poor sap who plays him. But how do the menfolk respond to all this adulation? Enter Details.

"A lot of guys tell me they think Edward's a stalker," says Kristina Hart, a 30-year-old Boeing employee. "I wouldn't mind being stalked by Edward." She's wearing a T-shirt that says, "Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body any day!"
And there are more such tales of men's inability to appreciate Twilight's pull:

"My husband is totally unamused by this," Noble says. "He says Edward is a 17-year-old fictional character. But that's not how I think of it. I say he's a 108-year-old character."..."He doesn't get it," Robbins says. "That's what he told me yesterday. But with life so crazy, this is my escape- Twilight. Edward. Men get into that comfortable rut once the relationship is there. Life gets so busy&" She trails off, then adds, "Men and women both, they lose that need to impress each other."

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That said, all the women feel that "there's a little bit of Edward in every guy" if you dig, but it seems unlikely that the dudes are going to bother to find out, let alone read the "7 Lessons Guys Can Learn from Edward Cullen" posted (by a woman) on YouTube. Although one guy in the piece is about as close as a Twi-hard mom is likely to find. Even if it means seriously torturing his sons.

Jim Roden, a 37-year-old Navy reservist from Oregon who's about to ship off to Afghanistan, made a pilgrimage to Forks with his two young sons and his 33-year-old wife, Dawn. This whole Edward thing-Roden's given it some serious thought. "The seduction aspect of it, that forbidden romance, that hint of danger and intrigue-most of the girls dig that stuff, and most of the guys are not able to pan it out on a daily basis," he says. "It makes you think: Why can't I ante up and do those kinds of things? Have I slipped a little? Have I gotten a little too comfortable? When was the last time I bought her flowers? Or took her out? When was the last time I was spontaneous?" Roden's on a roll. "Being married doesn't give you a free pass to let yourself go. If it takes some silly little girls' book to remind you, that's kind of sad, but you've got to keep plugging away at it," he says. "And an occasional bite on the neck can't hurt."
That said, if the piece is any guide, most guys seem unlikely to break out the glitter any time soon. On the other hand, given that a sidebar invites readers to "star in your own photo shoot with Adam Lambert," perhaps there's hope yet.

SOURCE: http://jezebel.com/5406924/actual-men-threatened-by-sparkly-vampire
new_buddhist 18th-Nov-2009 03:45 am (UTC)
"As we now know, all women over 35 are obsessed with Edward Cullen."


That's 100% bullshit! Cuz I ain't obsessed over his pale ass!
grande_latte 18th-Nov-2009 04:02 am (UTC)
BULLSHIT my mom HATES TWILIGHT
star_x_luvr 18th-Nov-2009 04:19 am (UTC)
I'm a mom, and I hate Twilight.
br22itt 18th-Nov-2009 04:29 am (UTC)
Ditto. My mom finds him quite resistible.
jellibeen 19th-Nov-2009 12:35 am (UTC)
my mum hates twilight
redhobbit 18th-Nov-2009 04:08 am (UTC)
>all women over 35 are obsessed with Edward Cullen."

As a 37 year old woman I can say HELLS NO!!!!!!

A pale glow in the dark vampire has nothing on the sexy that is Quinto.
glowing_dragon 18th-Nov-2009 04:21 am (UTC)
And neither am I!
npenney 18th-Nov-2009 05:14 am (UTC)
your over 35?
lillyluna 18th-Nov-2009 03:45 am (UTC)
STFU TWILIGHT
watermeloncholy "Edward can BRUISE my body"18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
OH HALE NAW
grande_latte 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
If you're a guy and is threatened by a FICTIONAL CHARACTER then YOU ARE A PATHETIC MAN
regeener 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
MTE
sinwithagrin 18th-Nov-2009 03:52 am (UTC)
it might also mean that you married a retard.
mardiness 18th-Nov-2009 03:53 am (UTC)
I'm threatened by God.
apothecaries 18th-Nov-2009 03:56 am (UTC)
lol true
leloucia 18th-Nov-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
the wives are definitely the pathetic ones here. I don't think they're so much threatened by the character as they are by their wives' obsession with it.
m00nbrain 18th-Nov-2009 04:15 am (UTC)
exactly, wives/girlfriends may expect men to act like any fictional man
mumblebeee 18th-Nov-2009 04:09 am (UTC)
IKR?
m00nbrain 18th-Nov-2009 04:16 am (UTC)
women who expect men to act like fiction characters are just as pathetic, js
nightcamedown 18th-Nov-2009 04:45 am (UTC)
TRUFAX.
sleepysongbird 18th-Nov-2009 05:36 am (UTC)
YES
anydoppelganger 18th-Nov-2009 06:07 am (UTC)
preach
newjackswinger 18th-Nov-2009 03:12 pm (UTC)
If you're a girl, and you fantasize about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER then YOU ARE A PATHETIC WOMAN.
shampayn 18th-Nov-2009 03:32 pm (UTC)
basically
prettysighs 18th-Nov-2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
EXACTLY
regeener 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
My 17 year old male cousin loves Twilight. He's always asking my piano prodigy cousin to learn how to play Bella's Song and he asked me if I listen to Paramore.

I am worried about him.
snapiphany 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
I hope Taylor Lautner's not reading this...
6_fingeredman 18th-Nov-2009 04:19 am (UTC)
Zing

A+
angelicalwing 18th-Nov-2009 04:20 am (UTC)
Are you suggesting that this cousin IS Taylor Lautner, or that if Taylor was reading this he'd hop on a plane and bang the kid?

Because either way, A+.
take_a_leak 18th-Nov-2009 03:52 am (UTC)
You should! but well... bad taste is bad taste
mario_06 18th-Nov-2009 04:12 am (UTC)
is he gay and this is his way of coming out?

lol
urizanegao 18th-Nov-2009 08:14 am (UTC)
Dude, I went on a date with a guy who likes Twilight just a little while ago, and so did my roommate (diff guy, who also like Twilight).
plumerias0417 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
when my dad does something nice for my mom (i.e. carry her bags etc), she says "thanks for being 1/8 Edward"
probot 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
I'd slap my mom if she ever dares so say that.
behindthechalet 18th-Nov-2009 03:49 am (UTC)
I'm trying to imagine this with my parents and my mind is boggled
rinygrin 18th-Nov-2009 03:49 am (UTC)
Same here, oh god that is some scary shit right there.
carazon 18th-Nov-2009 03:49 am (UTC)
Wow.
chocool 18th-Nov-2009 04:18 am (UTC)
That's really awful.
xhemalaj 18th-Nov-2009 04:19 am (UTC)
:O
shonen_key 18th-Nov-2009 04:26 am (UTC)
Ughhh DDD:
apres_ 18th-Nov-2009 04:30 am (UTC)
no offense, but if I were your dad I'd dazzle elsewhere
merenwen17 18th-Nov-2009 07:30 am (UTC)
lol irl
dnttllhrry 18th-Nov-2009 08:05 am (UTC)
rude.
mari_lyn00 18th-Nov-2009 09:44 am (UTC)
omg!
broken_enemy 18th-Nov-2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
:(
atomiccake 18th-Nov-2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
LMAO
coldharbourlove 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
Am I the only damn woman on this planet who doesn't think hes attractive?!?!
mabherself 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
I don't think he's attractive either.
br22itt 18th-Nov-2009 04:30 am (UTC)
I'm with you too.
astormatsea 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
jfc
rhapsodeeinblue 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
What. Most of ONTD thinks he looks like a foot.
x_neverbroken 18th-Nov-2009 03:49 am (UTC)
yes, you are a unique snowflake
lovetake_over 18th-Nov-2009 03:50 am (UTC)
um no
ex_lovergir 18th-Nov-2009 03:52 am (UTC)
Yes.
yaoiworksforme 18th-Nov-2009 03:54 am (UTC)
Hell no he's hideous.
vivisexion 18th-Nov-2009 03:56 am (UTC)
no, you're not...I think he's fugly :)
fancifull 18th-Nov-2009 03:58 am (UTC)
looks like a foot
nene718 18th-Nov-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
You're in the majority.
fineprnt 18th-Nov-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
I don't see it either. I could back when he was Cedric, but now I think he fug.
erin_chupacabra 18th-Nov-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
...What?
Gurl, you straight trippin' if you think you're unique for having that thought.
kyttiesakura 18th-Nov-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
nope
ledgers 18th-Nov-2009 04:00 am (UTC)
He has his moments.
poccapicchu 18th-Nov-2009 04:03 am (UTC)
Nope, you are not alone.
happy_place26 18th-Nov-2009 04:24 am (UTC)
Definitely not.
suckrforacstic 18th-Nov-2009 04:25 am (UTC)
nope! More than half the girls are in love with edward and not rob. thats what i think at least. Ugh, he nasty!
honeynutcherri 18th-Nov-2009 04:38 am (UTC)
Nope, he's ugly.
beccaztr0n 18th-Nov-2009 04:44 am (UTC)
jessicamariek 18th-Nov-2009 05:14 am (UTC)
Not by a long shot. He was decently attractive as Cedric, but I think that was because he looked like he showered then. Funky-lookin' dirty hobo dude = dnw.
rubyredmangos 18th-Nov-2009 06:15 am (UTC)
He's fug.
mandy_croyance 18th-Nov-2009 06:19 am (UTC)
I thought he looked okay as Cedric in Harry Potter but the whole pale-as-death-warmed-over Edward Cullen thing does literally nothing for me. Nor does the stupid mess of hair. DNW
bloodlolli 18th-Nov-2009 06:22 am (UTC)
....

no.
claudsx 18th-Nov-2009 06:52 am (UTC)
bb, you are not alone.
dnttllhrry 18th-Nov-2009 08:07 am (UTC)
no. i honestly think there are more people who dont find him attractive, its just the twathards are infiltrating the mass media with their sparkly vampire proproganda.
urizanegao 18th-Nov-2009 08:15 am (UTC)
Nope!
mari_lyn00 18th-Nov-2009 09:44 am (UTC)
while I don't think he's ugly, he's definitely not all that either.
shampayn 18th-Nov-2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
rpattz hasn't been cute since he was in harry potter.
whatwouldwasdo 18th-Nov-2009 03:36 pm (UTC)
i think rpattz can be cute irl, but i don't think the character is attractive at all

apart from the fact he's ~pretty~ (which idgaf about), he has nothing going on :|
lastshotringing 18th-Nov-2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
I don't find him attractive at all.
lovecost 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
I just bought tickets for the midnight showing so my roommate and I can LOL at everyone there!
hello_samm 18th-Nov-2009 04:02 am (UTC)
Me too! I'm excited actually because watching those people + the cheesy movie is entertaining to me.
harpsi_fizz 18th-Nov-2009 04:19 am (UTC)
For the love of balls, how many times do we have to tell you "Do not buy tickets to that shit because 10% of Stephenie Meyer's income goes towards ensuring gays have no rights; buy a ticket to a different movie instead then to into the Twatlight theater"? We only have so much breath.

You'd better kick one of those lumps of goo to make up for it.
kawaiisis86 18th-Nov-2009 01:38 pm (UTC)
lmao im the same. totally in it for the lulz. I spent 2 hours last night on the phone to my ex-bf explaining why bella is a passive mary-sue and why edward is Stalky McStalker. Im glad he understood after our long ass convo.
senorita__ 18th-Nov-2009 04:11 am (UTC)
if i wasnt completely broke, i would totally get drunk and go and talk shit

then again that would probably be my last night alive, as everyone in the theatre would probably kill me
me_and_jimmy 18th-Nov-2009 05:20 am (UTC)
are you getting stoned and/or drunk before it?
me_and_jimmy 18th-Nov-2009 05:21 am (UTC)
are you getting stoned and/or drunk before it? that's the only way I could handle all the stupidity of it.
_stargazing 18th-Nov-2009 06:08 am (UTC)
I wanted to do that, but I really don't want to die yet.
nicenicegirl 18th-Nov-2009 07:22 am (UTC)
lolz i'm going on Friday with my husband and some friends and i'm actually excited because last time we went we had an lol-fest the entire time and i want to have that again. plus i think we drank beforehand, which i will do again this time...
mari_lyn00 18th-Nov-2009 09:45 am (UTC)
LOL my cousin and all her co-workers got midnight tickets and are going together to see it.. I wanted to go just for laughs but i'm too late.
a_grumble_cakee 18th-Nov-2009 11:12 am (UTC)
so my roommate and I can LOL at everyone there!

suuuuuure you did
lastupenda 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
She's wearing a T-shirt that says, "Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body any day!"

....what.
regeener 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
where the fuck can u get crap like that? That is some mental problem shit there,
lastupenda 18th-Nov-2009 03:52 am (UTC)
but it's twilight so it's okay~
tryxkittie 18th-Nov-2009 04:11 am (UTC)
these women are so unsatisfied with the sex they're getting that they've gone insane.

I agree men should ante up and try to get romantic every once in a while, but TWILIGHT IS NOT THE MODEL TO FOLLOW.

Honestly I hate and pity these women so much.
carazon 18th-Nov-2009 03:48 am (UTC)
mte.
extremisttt 18th-Nov-2009 03:55 am (UTC)
I WANT THIS T-SHIRT
jaleco 18th-Nov-2009 03:56 am (UTC)
That's what Eddie did to Bella when they deflowered each other...


Sexy right?
vivisexion 18th-Nov-2009 03:56 am (UTC)
ikr? that's kinda fucked up.
pensarelove 18th-Nov-2009 03:58 am (UTC)
ikr?
erin_chupacabra 18th-Nov-2009 03:59 am (UTC)
How much you want to bet she got it off ebay, or made it herself, and the font is Curlz MT?
chocool 18th-Nov-2009 04:20 am (UTC)
He doesn't just want to bite your pillows, bb.
emeraldtenshi 18th-Nov-2009 04:22 am (UTC)
My inner feminism is :_:
civilsavage 18th-Nov-2009 04:29 am (UTC)
that's the kind of wack pseudo-ironic bullshit that gives fuel to that "well, don't all women want to be treated like shit now and then?" conundrum... it's... it's just--UGH...
midnight_lite 18th-Nov-2009 04:34 am (UTC)
...da fuck?!
prescilla_bean 18th-Nov-2009 04:51 am (UTC)
MTE
dior_chic 18th-Nov-2009 05:00 am (UTC)
My sister is planning on buying a sweatshirt with that phrase. :/ If she wears it I don't want to be seen with her lol.
mandy_croyance 18th-Nov-2009 06:21 am (UTC)
If that's the kind of relationship they want, I hope these women have safewords. Jesus christ.
crazyboothsocks 18th-Nov-2009 08:45 am (UTC)
Sometimes there are shirts that can't be made...and most importantly NEVER EVER Worn. "Edward can BUST my headboard, BITE my pillows, and BRUISE my body any day!" Case and point.
crazyboothsocks 18th-Nov-2009 08:45 am (UTC)
'shouldn't be made
hotpinkluver 18th-Nov-2009 04:01 pm (UTC)
Some girls...I just don't get it.
joaniemaloney 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
most guys seem unlikely to break out the glitter any time soon.
whew.
eeagle 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
Sigh I wish Twilight would go away :(
eeagle 18th-Nov-2009 04:06 am (UTC)
im sure it will come out there too.
mabherself 18th-Nov-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
I still can't see how people read that Edward was supposed to be the most beautiful creature on earth or some shit like that and then picked RPattz.

xelegantusagix 18th-Nov-2009 03:58 am (UTC)
THIS!! I hated that they picked RPattz. HATED. HATED HATED.

I wanted a complete unknown actor =(

I mean I love the horridly written books but they're still AWFUL.


IMHO if it gets people to read i dun give a crap what its about or how bad it is...
mabherself 18th-Nov-2009 04:05 am (UTC)
I was so pissed when they didn't pick Gaspard Ulliel.

Ngl, I loved the books so much, but I actually did read Twilight when it came out in 2005 because my cousin used to randomly pick books off of Amazon and send them my way, and then I was so excited when I heard they were making a movie out of it then I got so disappointed because everyone and their moms, literally were like OMG OMG TWILIGHT OMFG. So now I kind of hate it.

True that.
senorita__ 18th-Nov-2009 04:13 am (UTC)
hello, i was pissed when he was cedric diggory
urizanegao 18th-Nov-2009 08:17 am (UTC)
IKR? I'm still staggered that they didn't go with Gaspard Ulliel as Edward and Emily Browning as Bella. Neither RPattz nor KStew are pretty enough to be like Edward and Bella are described in the books. (And if it were holy shit gorgeous gorgeous Gaspard and Emily prancing around doing this Twilight stuff instead of Rob and Kristen, it would be more enjoyable...)
baglady25 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
It frightens me how some girls might end up in abusive relationships and not do anything about it, because it's what Edward does.
numbereleven 18th-Nov-2009 03:53 am (UTC)
THIS.

These are girls basically asking to be abused. Because it's totally real, intense love.
snapiphany 18th-Nov-2009 03:55 am (UTC)
Worse yet, their Twimoms might be encouraging it.
baglady25 18th-Nov-2009 03:57 am (UTC)
Oh good God, that's so true :|
xelegantusagix 18th-Nov-2009 04:04 am (UTC)
I read the books because I was in an abusive relationship and I remember what went through and can relate.

He's still a fictional character....I mean if I'm gonna look for a fictional character in the men I date...so totes gonna look for this instead...




booya
ellecoeur 18th-Nov-2009 04:07 am (UTC)
I won't support this book for that EXACT reason. I was IN an abusive relationship, and my sister reads these books... I keep trying to get her off of them, but my parents think I'm reading too much into the books and should leave her alone. Ugh.
fatesarchitect 18th-Nov-2009 04:22 am (UTC)
OH GOD THIS.

Whenever I get the chance to talk about Twilight to other adults who haven't read it, but let their teenagers read it, I go "OH GOD IT'S ALL EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AND STALKING."

It's awesome to see the parents freak out and realize wtf Twilight really is about.
melindil 18th-Nov-2009 05:23 am (UTC)
This so much. I want to believe that if a girl gets into that relationship because of a book, then she was at risk to be in an abusive relationship before Twilight ever entered the picture...but I know better and I realize just how much media and pop culture can influence our youth.

On top of that, I intern for a case manager at a residential program for homeless young adults and she loves the Twilight series so much. I was so surprised that someone in that line of work, who SEES abusive relationships every day, could love Twilight so much. It was just mind boggling to me.
milkradio 18th-Nov-2009 06:18 am (UTC)
Exactly.
stellarlullaby 18th-Nov-2009 06:26 am (UTC)
It scares me that mothers are behind this, I would want my daughter to be a strong woman who could kick a guy to the curb for being an ass, not a lost little girl clinging to a psycho.
timandnorah 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
I watched Twilight on Saturday, and in all honesty IT WASN'T THAT BAD! I actually kind of liked it. My friend and I are going to see New Moon on Friday.

But I imdb' Twilight and LOL IT HAS THE MOST GOOFS OUT OF ANY MOVIE I'VE EVER WATCHED!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/goofs
_______chaos_xx 18th-Nov-2009 03:54 am (UTC)
lol at all the "incorrectly regarded as goofs"

nice save
brandy 18th-Nov-2009 04:04 am (UTC)
"Vampires sparkle when exposed to the sun. When Edward and Bella come to school, he is wearing sunglasses, which would not be necessary if he was trying to avoid the sun. However, it's clear he is wearing them as a fashion accessory, and to make his skin look paler. It's also why the Cullens usually wear dark clothing."

LMFAO.
hello_samm 18th-Nov-2009 04:04 am (UTC)
it's the fans that make it so horrible. i can actually tolerate the film.
sic_obsession 18th-Nov-2009 04:29 am (UTC)
Damn, that's along ass list.


"Incorrectly regarded as goofs"

lol
floower 18th-Nov-2009 02:21 pm (UTC)
Really? see I went to the cinema to see what all the fuss was about but my friend and I spent the entire time cringing, it was just so terrible and awkward. Too much second-hand embarrassment.
0_osez 18th-Nov-2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
woah who is in your icon, may I ask?
timandnorah 19th-Nov-2009 12:43 am (UTC)
The beautiful and talented miss Lady GaGa!
juunanagou18 18th-Nov-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
Hell, I tell my friend that Edward is a stalker, and I'm a girl. She says it's not true~
suckrforacstic 18th-Nov-2009 04:32 am (UTC)
ugh than your friend is in denial. obviously you know this. It bugs me that these girls are so blinded by "true romance" that they dont see the abuse side of the relationship in the book. God this whole article is sad and i hope i never treat my husband like this. than again, im not one to take fiction seriously.
mari_lyn00 18th-Nov-2009 09:47 am (UTC)
he is a stalker. i was like WTF? when i saw the movie.
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