ONTD

My friend, Ryan, he is a wonderful flamer friend of mine with a talent for gossiping.
Which is convient, since his stepmom is a sitcom writer with lots of friends in "the biz".
So, keep in mind the following would never be anything but DENIED by a publicist... it is from hearsay of inside sources. In theory.



I feel like this would be an opportune time to address some things in the world. No, not Iraq. Not London. But Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes & the bizarre thing that IS Scientology.

Backstory: My stepmom was a really well paid, well-admired blah blah sitcom writer in the '90's. Married With Children, Family Matters, even that shitty one on Disney starring the gross Lawerence brothers, she did it all. & then she hit forty five & goodbye career, hello twiddling thumbs & Oprah. But thank god for karma because she's back at work & thus, I still recieve my celebrity gossip. Most of it's kinda lame like Mary-Kate did coke way back when she was on that shitty show on ABC Family in that fake beachouse. Some of it's funny like how Carl, the cop on Family Matters, tried to literally kill Urkel because he got way more famous than all of them. But the good stuff has been pouring in lately.

You see, Hollywood is a really small net of crazy ass bitches & big mouthes. This means everyone from the top producers to the fucking craft service workers, know everyone's business. Recently, my stepmom told me that Tom Cruise, is in fact a homosexual & that he recently made a pass at one of her friends, a head honcho at Paramount. Imagine my delight. Tom Cruise. My team. Yes. This was before War of the Worlds & crazy jumping on couches on Oprah while Katie Holmes looks sedated and smiles as a Scientology rep tries to put a brainwashing chip in her brain. No, that Tom is bananas. So when all of a sudden, my favorite tabloids were filled with Boring and Boringer on the cover, I was pissed. It was time to call my stepmom. I needed to know what was up.

So she says that Tom Cruise has always been absolutely insane, he just had the best PR team to ever walk this earth to keep that hidden. PR is a celebrity's best friend. It's their job to hide stories & incidents from the press, tell their client when to open their mouth & when to close it & overall, keep their client's nice image fully intact. An example of a publicist's worst nightmare would be Mariah Carey because that bitch is just fucking crazy & there is no hiding that. So apparently, Tom grew restless as a puppet. He wanted to be his own person. So he fired all of them & who was their replacement? His SISTER. Who you know isn't going to tell Tom Cruise to shut up. He pays for her mobile home & potato chips & whatever she wants. After she was hired was when this Katie Holmes thing happened.

Now let me just say that I loved Katie Holmes. Go, Wonder Boys, The Gift: loved them. I even watched that piece of shit movie that made no sense called Abandon. All for her. Pieces of April? The best! So I was shocked that she was the new beard. And my stepmom says everyone know it's bullshit, it's a contract between the two of them.

What bothers me even more is the incorporation of Scientology: the third party in their relationship. The research that I have done on Scientology has made me see it as cultish & bizarre. It's also against homosexuality & has clinics where they can supposedly cure it. Tom Cruise, you better run! Their facts against psychaitry are faulty. The whole thing is ridiculous, in my eyes.

Now usually I have a stance of whatever your religion is, is fine as long as you don't intefere with others. Well, this attacking Brooke Shields & other mothers for suffering post-partum depression & using Paxil, is bullshit. Are people over prescribed? Fuck yes. But that does not mean that medication does not hold a proper place in society. It has helped & how dare Scientolgists tell people what works & what doesn't. Different strokes for different folks right?

But TomKat, go suck a dick. Actuallly, just you Tom. Just you.


So, while I personally believe all this, it's in no way, shape or form me telling you this is for sure the truth. My source is a dramatic homosexual 19 year old with a flair for gossip. But that doesnt make this any less fun.

<3