10:34 pm - 01/19/2009
Oh No
Spike TV's: The Top 7 Butterbodies
The true definition of a butterbody is a woman who has a beautiful face but a body that’s gone to butter. It’s like the butterface, but in reverse. If you are rich and famous, there is no excuse for being a butterbody. It’s your job to look fit and hot. Celebrities are not like normal people. They have the means to pay for a full time trainer and for someone to prepare their meals.
7. Sara Ramirez
Sara Ramirez is a big-boned woman who stars as a bisexual doctor in the TV show Grey’s Anatomy. Normally when plus-sized women gain fame, they slim down and lose the pounds. Not Sara. She has remained true to her pudgy self.
6. Drew Barrymore
Drew Barrymore’s weight fluctuates like a yo-yo. The star of 50 First Dates and Charlie’s Angels can look super hot or super plump and blubbery. Drew blames her vegetarianism for her fluctuations in weight. She says she basically lives on carbs and eats whatever she wants. As a bonafide star, Drew cannot do this. Otherwise every hot woman in Hollywood will adopt a similar mentality and the world will be void of super thin, super hot women
5. Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek has a beer gut, which she tries to hide by wearing flowing dresses. She fools no one with this trickery. This lady is fat. It’s like she’s carrying a spare car tire around her mid-section. Her only saving grace is her magnificent breasts. The extra weight she gained has gone directly to her breasts, and it is glorious.
4. America Ferrera
Yes, America Ferrera plays a dowdy, awkward character on TV’s Ugly Betty. However, this is no excuse for being a butterbody. Ferrera could easily wear a body suit and actually act. Hollywood is about being extraordinary, not ordinary. It’s crazy that she has become a poster child for “curvy” women. She basically gives women an excuse to be fat.
3. Mandy Moore
Once upon a time Mandy Moore was cute and adorable. She was also super annoying, but she was so damn cute that this flaw was generally overlooked. Then she dropped off the face of the earth. Recently she re-emerged looking chunky, pudgy and out of shape. It’s like she spent the last few years on a couch watching television and eating tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. Now that she’s fat, her annoying-ness shines through. She needs to do everyone a favor and get fit again.
2. Liv Tyler
The transformation of Liv Tyler into a frumpy frump is a tragedy. The angelic film star used to be one of the world’s most beautiful women. Now she looks like a dowdy housewife who indulges in too many home-baked cookies. Liv needs to hit the treadmill, pronto.
1. Tyra Banks
Tyra Banks is so desperate to be Oprah that she has piled on the pounds. For years, Tyra Banks was a bangin' top model. Her cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue is iconic and shows Tyra at her best. The years have caught up with her and she’s let herself go as she spews advice on her TV talk show and America’s Next Top Model. If Tyra Banks really wants to be the next Oprah, she should take a leaf out of Oprah’s book and drop 40 pounds.
Spam Away
The true definition of a butterbody is a woman who has a beautiful face but a body that’s gone to butter. It’s like the butterface, but in reverse. If you are rich and famous, there is no excuse for being a butterbody. It’s your job to look fit and hot. Celebrities are not like normal people. They have the means to pay for a full time trainer and for someone to prepare their meals.
7. Sara Ramirez
Sara Ramirez is a big-boned woman who stars as a bisexual doctor in the TV show Grey’s Anatomy. Normally when plus-sized women gain fame, they slim down and lose the pounds. Not Sara. She has remained true to her pudgy self.
6. Drew Barrymore
Drew Barrymore’s weight fluctuates like a yo-yo. The star of 50 First Dates and Charlie’s Angels can look super hot or super plump and blubbery. Drew blames her vegetarianism for her fluctuations in weight. She says she basically lives on carbs and eats whatever she wants. As a bonafide star, Drew cannot do this. Otherwise every hot woman in Hollywood will adopt a similar mentality and the world will be void of super thin, super hot women
5. Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek has a beer gut, which she tries to hide by wearing flowing dresses. She fools no one with this trickery. This lady is fat. It’s like she’s carrying a spare car tire around her mid-section. Her only saving grace is her magnificent breasts. The extra weight she gained has gone directly to her breasts, and it is glorious.
4. America Ferrera
Yes, America Ferrera plays a dowdy, awkward character on TV’s Ugly Betty. However, this is no excuse for being a butterbody. Ferrera could easily wear a body suit and actually act. Hollywood is about being extraordinary, not ordinary. It’s crazy that she has become a poster child for “curvy” women. She basically gives women an excuse to be fat.
3. Mandy Moore
Once upon a time Mandy Moore was cute and adorable. She was also super annoying, but she was so damn cute that this flaw was generally overlooked. Then she dropped off the face of the earth. Recently she re-emerged looking chunky, pudgy and out of shape. It’s like she spent the last few years on a couch watching television and eating tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. Now that she’s fat, her annoying-ness shines through. She needs to do everyone a favor and get fit again.
2. Liv Tyler
The transformation of Liv Tyler into a frumpy frump is a tragedy. The angelic film star used to be one of the world’s most beautiful women. Now she looks like a dowdy housewife who indulges in too many home-baked cookies. Liv needs to hit the treadmill, pronto.
1. Tyra Banks
Tyra Banks is so desperate to be Oprah that she has piled on the pounds. For years, Tyra Banks was a bangin' top model. Her cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue is iconic and shows Tyra at her best. The years have caught up with her and she’s let herself go as she spews advice on her TV talk show and America’s Next Top Model. If Tyra Banks really wants to be the next Oprah, she should take a leaf out of Oprah’s book and drop 40 pounds.
Spam Away
He reminds me of the guy on Beautiful Girls that was fug (Michael Rappaport) but thought he should be able to hook up with models. Riiiiiiight.
Butterface + Butterbody + Butterbrain = Butterhuman
YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT
Oh no
what the fuck is going on with his facial hair
fucking priceless.
fugly as hell
Once upon a time *fill in the name of this bitter cocksucker here* was a normal high school boy with normal problems: girls wouldn't date him. Innocent, perhaps even endearing as his troubles may have seemed then, fast forward some years (less then you would think really, cause he has aged tragically fast), things have changed. Or not. While most men moved forward and swallowed their pride to actually date flesh and blood women; this fuckface now sits in a porn theatre on a Saturday night jacking off to barely legal porn and weeping about the cold rejection in the backseat of his mom's Pinto on that prom night years and years ago. That bitch did look so much like Sara Ramirez.. Here, you prick, let me wash those tears off your face with the contents of this gin and tonic. A man with real balls bought it for me, and millions of women with real character help me to fling it in your pasty, sorry face.