You're a virgin who can't drive

Clueless was on Bravo last night and I couldn't help but wonder: whatever happened to Christian? So one thing led to another and now I bring you

CLUELESS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?




WARNING: VERY IMAGE HEAVY




CHER / Alicia Silverstone


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Pictured here with her fiancé husband Christopher Jarecki at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival. The animal rights activist is currently working on a TV show called Bad Mother's Handbook

DIONNE / Stacey Dash


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The 42 (yes you read that right) year-old has seven movies slated to come out in the next year. Though they all seem to be of the straight to DVD variety.

TAI / Brittany Murphy


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Very much like her character Tai Brittany has since jumped from guy to guy falling madly in love with each, or so she has according to the media. Now married to Simon Monjack she's got two thrillers coming out in the next year and provides the voice to Luanne on King of the Hill

JOSH / Paul Rudd


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A fixture in the Judd Apatow clan Paul definitely has found his niche in the comedy genre. His next two films are Role Models with Seann William Scott and I Love You, Man with pretty much every "it" comedy person of the moment.

MURRAY / Donald Faison


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Donald currently plays Turk on Scrubs and dates Jessica Simpson's ex assistant Cacee Cobb. He'll be in a movie called Next Day Air with Mos Def laster on this year.

AMBER / Elisa Donovan


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According to IMDB Elisa was last seen in a made for TV movie called Shark Swarm. Epic, really.

TRAVIS / Breckin Meyer


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He was most recently seen in the indie film Blue State with Academy Award Winning actress Anna Paquin. While he has the thriller Stag Night coming down the line, he can be heard as many characters on Robot Chicken and joins his fellow Clueless alum Brittany Murphy on King of the Hill as Joseph Gribble. The cartoon is not the first Clueless crossover, another notable moment was Donald and Breckin in the underrated movie Josie and the Pussycats as members of Du Jour.

ELTON / Jeremy Sisto


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While Jeremy has had a multiple number of notable cameos, you can currently catch him as Detective Cyrus Lupo on Law and Order (the original one). AND HE WAS ON SIX FEET UNDER my bad y'all, I totally forgot about that.

MEL HOROWITZ / Dan Hedaya


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He's had a lot of guest appearances, but according to IMDB his last one was on the show Monk back in 2006. Here he is at the New York premier of No Country for Old Men

MR. WENDELL HALL / Wallace Shawn


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The man is all over the place really, one of the more exciting things coming up on his IMDB is reprising his role of Rex the Green Dinosaur in Toy Story 3. Edit: cloudsinmycafe also adds "Wallace Shawn is actually also a really well respected playwright and had a play produced on Broadway a year or two ago."

MISS TOBY GEIST / Twink Caplan


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Was last seen in the TV movie Secrets of a Hollywood Nurse along with fellow Clueless alum Stacey Dash. Coming up is the lead in the comedy Sweet Tessie and Bags.

MS STOEGER / Julie Brown


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She's playing Mimi Van Lux on Paradise Falls, a TV show I never heard of until I made this post.

and the one who inspired this post...

CHRISTIAN / Justin Walker


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He was last seen in the movie Take Out back in 2005. You can see the trailer and production stills here


Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, Google Images, this spot for the screencaps from Clueless, and my own damn boredom

Edit: I resized the pictures, sorry y'all!