ONTD

9:28 pm - 06/20/2005

Encyclopedia Dramatica

Did y'all know that ONTD had an entry?

One fateful night during a repeat of The OC, a vapid, illfated 16 year old girl was furiously masturbating with that week's issue of People Magazine shoved up her yeast-infected snatch. [Remember to wash those dirty fingernails, ladies!] Immediately as she queefed onto her living room carpet, a hideous creature was spawned from the juices... OH NO THEY DIDNT!

In their neverending quest to both ignore the fact that they have no lives outside of growing their embarassing friends list, as well as pretending they know people who are famous, the fugly and morbidly obese 16 year old girls who populate this community usually involve themselves in such somber discussions and the dissection of some of the greatest mysteries of our time; such as the pregnacy of Brotney Spears, the fluctuating weight of Lindsay Hohan and Nicole Ritchie, and the on-going adventures of Paris Hilton's cooch.

The members of this community pride themselves in being "snarky" and "brutal". A typical post of the day is an ordinary paparazzi shot of Brotney Spears and her ugly husband, merely walking down the street. This provokes dozens of pages of comments with such brilliant and witty banter as "ew", "omg ew", "sHe iz soooo faTt!!!" and "sHe iz sooooo tRasHy!!!!". HAHAHAHHA! Take that, Brotney! That'll show her!

The community is moderated by a couple of tragic emo queens and some random myspace whores who delude themselves into thinking that their lives have meaning by posting long-winded entires about themselves. If you want to avoid being banned, simply scream "OMG I WANT 2 HAVE U R BABIES MODS", compose lengthy comments on how they are "teh best EVAR" and get ready to growl down on dirty scenester snatch/mangina.

In order to fit in to this community, you MUST have a blurry camwhore icon of your naked, nubile underage body, so people can pretend they know you. And make sure you look and act as feminine and girly as possible! This particular community detests bulldykes or any member of the female gender who does not wear makeup, have mediocre skin or who are even slightly under or overweight. Didn't you realise? Women are utterly worthless if they don't dress up and look attractive for men 24/7.


Wow, harsh.
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fucking_love 21st-Jun-2005 02:48 am (UTC)
I will take a huge bite out of this dick sandwich. Please don't stop till we are on the cover of magazines.
subjectivism 21st-Jun-2005 02:52 am (UTC)
OMG I WANT 2 HAVE U R BABIES!!11!
fucking_love 21st-Jun-2005 02:53 am (UTC)
This wins you a post dedicated to just you.
narcissisystem 21st-Jun-2005 02:57 am (UTC)
Too bad magazines are too good to credit ONTD for the shit they find here.
espressoshot 21st-Jun-2005 05:15 am (UTC)

promise. ox
famousicons 21st-Jun-2005 06:56 am (UTC)
I can see it now:

"Ohnotheydidnt members lash out at fuckfaces all over the country, nay, world!"
witnessthine 21st-Jun-2005 10:39 pm (UTC)
you wrote it didn't you?

p.s. holy hell, your icon
kidviciousdonna 21st-Jun-2005 02:48 am (UTC)
Good thing I wear makeup.
chadsshit 16th-Jun-2009 03:47 am (UTC)
LOL right!
ebolarock 21st-Jun-2005 02:49 am (UTC)
just wait until we're on ljdrama.
granting 21st-Jun-2005 02:54 am (UTC)
Eh. Prolly won't happen.

Too easy.
mellowraspberry 25th-Jun-2005 06:57 am (UTC)
Grant!
How nice to see you :D
kidviciousdonna 21st-Jun-2005 02:59 am (UTC)
what is that?
simplysweet0424 21st-Jun-2005 03:16 am (UTC)
it was deleted! look!
natzmeister 21st-Jun-2005 03:55 am (UTC)
Weren't we on there for thecoolcrew post?
mmepompadour 21st-Jun-2005 04:14 am (UTC)
We have been already. At least twice.

Hence the Encyclopedia Dramatica article.
rc 21st-Jun-2005 04:41 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure ONTD was...I think that's how I found this community in the first place.
ex_infidel 21st-Jun-2005 05:05 am (UTC)
ljdrama is great, but i can't ever go there. i get sucked into it, and somehow i end up having arguments about shit i don't care about (tattoos about punching women in the vagina, for example)
onebadtaco 21st-Jun-2005 02:50 am (UTC)
in regards to the last paragraph, this isn't and never was a rating community, so i don't see how it applies at all.
sulking 21st-Jun-2005 02:53 am (UTC)
you're cute as fuck, though. gain weight!
chorusgirl 21st-Jun-2005 03:02 am (UTC)
you must then be an anorexic, since you're not fat.





CRACK BABY!






*Throws tampons at you, Carrie-style
natzmeister 21st-Jun-2005 03:56 am (UTC)
PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!
__crepuscule 21st-Jun-2005 04:17 am (UTC)
Fucking spectacular.
ex_infidel 21st-Jun-2005 05:13 am (UTC)
tampons up the bum will make you constipated, according to savage love. :( sad,eh!
fucking_love 21st-Jun-2005 02:51 am (UTC)
Most likely. We really hurt his pussy with the gang bang.
saraha 21st-Jun-2005 03:00 am (UTC)
Did I miss some interesting drama?
side_streets 21st-Jun-2005 03:07 am (UTC)
If not him, it's obviously someone we banned. They obviously know about the inner workings of the community & aren't just a casual observer.
yourturntoburn 21st-Jun-2005 03:09 am (UTC)
I don't think he'd be intelligent enough to write that.
maskedera 21st-Jun-2005 03:58 am (UTC)
That's what I thought as soon as I saw "EVAR."
arielcharming 21st-Jun-2005 04:33 am (UTC)
ohmygod, your icon. my friends and i were lunching out about that part. "tsssss.....owwwwww......tssssss....owwwwww" its so fucking funny
quasidan 21st-Jun-2005 05:08 am (UTC)
It was written ~two weeks ago.
dagrrl 21st-Jun-2005 02:50 am (UTC)
Yeah - especially considering I've done none of the "requirements" to be a member, yet here I be.

Besides, most of us don't comment; in fact, to keep our intelligence level up we avoid the comments like the plague. This is like the third or fourth comment I've made here and I feel it's a worthy freaking subject.
mirawhisperwind 21st-Jun-2005 03:05 am (UTC)
Yeah, I dont comment often at all either.
espressoshot 21st-Jun-2005 05:19 am (UTC)

why avoid the comments? then we'll all call you anti-social or goth or something...
g_howlett 21st-Jun-2005 02:50 am (UTC)
hey, hey, hey - i'm 21, not 16. but right on the money with the fugly & morbidly obese part.
there_she_went 21st-Jun-2005 02:57 am (UTC)
18, ditto, and damnit how did they know about my illegal child porn? lmao
fucking_love 21st-Jun-2005 02:50 am (UTC)
This is a newspaper editor's wet dream.
ex_jasminemi988 21st-Jun-2005 02:53 am (UTC)
I actually am an aspiring editor and pretty much juiced myself reading this.
fucking_love 21st-Jun-2005 02:58 am (UTC)
I am one, as well as a journalist for the city free press, where I live at. I am about to quit though.
vanilla_blue 21st-Jun-2005 03:57 am (UTC)
Mmhmm.
theplump 21st-Jun-2005 02:51 am (UTC)
Wowza.

The last paragraph is totally garbage from what I've seen.

Fourth paragraph... well... maybe.
bruinshorty 21st-Jun-2005 02:51 am (UTC)
...

...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh the hypocrisy. Obviously Captain Dumbass over there has to be following the community.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must go make a camwhore icon of my naked, nubile, but not underage body, because I am lacking one and I see that it is a requirement.
willmerk 20th-Jun-2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
omg uve been on ontd since 2005
bruinshorty 20th-Jun-2008 06:14 pm (UTC)
earlier than this! I think I started reading in 2004 but didn't comment.


also wtf are you doing reading entries from 2005?
saraha 21st-Jun-2005 02:51 am (UTC)
Apparently we're all 16 year old superficial fangirls, haha.
sulking 21st-Jun-2005 02:52 am (UTC)
damn. whoever wrote this must've been banned.
beckycore 21st-Jun-2005 02:52 am (UTC)
Sounds like you guys offended a bulldyke.
more__glitter 21st-Jun-2005 03:48 am (UTC)
I think you're right!

I find humor in online critisicm of things that I enjoy, but that's just uncreative. One could really rip ONTD to shreds (and make it hilarious), but that definiton is just stupid.
mmepompadour 21st-Jun-2005 02:53 am (UTC)
Encyclopedia Dramatica is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Sue me for finding humor in every single entry in there, whether it's about someone/something I love or someone/something I hate.

It's really, really amusing.
fucking_love 21st-Jun-2005 02:56 am (UTC)
I am waiting for my livejournal name to be an entry.
mmepompadour 21st-Jun-2005 03:02 am (UTC)
Our dear trojanbaby has an entry.

I'm surprised with all the drama I've participated in that I haven't been added. Probably because I'm LJ friends with some of the writers, even though I don't know specifically who they are. Heh.

Watch, now it'll show up in a really derogatory manner. And I will laugh.
quasidan 21st-Jun-2005 05:10 am (UTC)
I made one for you!
excelente 21st-Jun-2005 03:18 am (UTC)
I love how they've sketched out all the events of Nonuglies/Exalted/EMA so methodically. For a second there, you actually feel like you're reading about something that MATTERED in the world's grand scheme of things.
number25 21st-Jun-2005 04:28 am (UTC)
Agreed.
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