2:07 am - 03/27/2008

Top 10 Celebrity Butterfaces

It’s happened to all of us. You see a chick with long luscious legs. Right above those is a tight, firm rear. Next is their slim waist and chiseled abs. And then comes the breasts. Either large and augmented or natural and perky, it doesn’t matter, they all have them and they are spectacular.

But then she turns around or you get a good look at her face and it makes your stomach turn. Collagen swollen lips, cheeks tucked into foreheads and man-like features are enough to disappoint any man.

10. Hilary Swank

She was in Boys Don’t Cry where she won an Oscar for playing a man in a movie. That pretty much assures that you won’t be on Victoria’s Secret short list for their next Angel. But when you sculpt your body into a machine with chiseled abs, tight ass, and toned everything, men will take notice. Too bad getting your next Oscar makes you perfect as a look-alike for a butch chick boxer.

9. April Scott

Nothing can compare to April’s long legs, a spectacular ass and great tits in a g-string and push-up bra. Too bad the compliments end there. She’s yet another “model” who’s posed in too many face flattering over-the-shoulder shots. Her claims to fame are b-listed to no end. Only thumb-nailed shots trick you into thinking she’s actually hot.

8. Haylie Duff

The gene pool in this family got a little shallow after younger sister Hilary graced us with her presence. Poor, poor Haylie got the short end of the stick when it came to the neck-up department, and is doomed to forever be Hillary’s older, uglier sister. But with her smoking body she’s assured a pity lay by some B-actor and continued “fame.”

7. Christina Ricci

When your first major role is on the Addams Family as Wednesday, you know you're going to make this list. Peel the Goth gear away though and she’ll make any man howl. She showed what she had in Prozac Nation and her all-natural body isn’t as scary as her face. There’s no wonder why Samuel Jackson would slap a leash on her and keep her as a pet. Now that’s what I call reparations.

6. Lisa Rinna

This Former Days of Our Lives cast member and more recently “contestant” on Dancing with the Stars certainly has a body that won’t quit. And for being 43 and popping out two kids, her body is one of the best in the business. Too bad she couldn’t resist buying some DSLs that make her face look utterly busted and ridiculous.

5. Rebecca Loos

Rebecca is more proof guys think with their other, smaller head. As personal assistant to billionaire David Beckham, it’s clear what two credentials got her hired. That, and the fact that she’s openly bisexual. Taking that into consideration it’s easy to forgive Beckham for not looking directly at her face when he hired her.

img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v14/joyce/loos02.jpg">

4. Tori Spelling

With a face like hers only two things could get her a big break on a show filled with beautiful people: her smoking body and her last name. But there she is, cast as the ugly best friend the other hot chicks in Beverly Hills confide in. Only a paper bag makes her bangable - that and the piles of money daddy gave her.

3. Vida Guerra

With a body (and ass) like hers it’s easy to forget what Vida actually looks like. But inevitably, one's eyes wander above the torso and neck area and after that it’s game over. Once again, cunning photographers put her best asset forward while keeping her looking over her shoulder in that all too familiar busted-face pose. She better watch out, the guy with the ugly stick is still right behind her.

2. Carmit

The only Pussycat Doll that could make you say me-ewww once you got a good look at her. It’s a good thing they keep her at or near the back of the pack. Even her magazine “glamour” shots conveniently place her in the busted-face over-the-shoulder-ass-protruding pose. She is living proof that sometimes talent and a smoking body alone can make you a sex symbol.

1. Fergie

Fergie started as the hot chick in the Black Eyed Peas and was the only reason to sit through one of their music videos. Her dancer inspired body is one of the hardest and hottest in the music and entertainment industry. Now her solo career has thrust her into the limelight and it’s way too bright. Besides her gnarly man-hands, the good doctor got a tad ambitious with all the nips, tucks and peels, making her look downright scary.

note: commentary not mine.
dejabentendu 27th-Mar-2008 11:57 am (UTC)
WTF is with vida guerra's ass?
baby got back
peaceb6387 27th-Mar-2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
i still prefer joe jonas's ass any day
victory_goddess 27th-Mar-2008 09:00 pm (UTC)
I've seen the pre-photoshop version of that picture, it doesn't look so hot.
koalafrog 27th-Mar-2008 11:58 am (UTC)
Mmmm I love a little misogyny in the morning.
freeze_i_say 27th-Mar-2008 12:03 pm (UTC)

so much ugh
jebe 27th-Mar-2008 12:05 pm (UTC)
ugh. seriously.
hrhobo 27th-Mar-2008 12:06 pm (UTC)
supercat1983 27th-Mar-2008 12:21 pm (UTC)
tree_pretty 27th-Mar-2008 12:36 pm (UTC)
For my timezone, it's a little misogyny right before bed. Just what I wanted to give me sweet dreams.

culatercopper 27th-Mar-2008 12:48 pm (UTC)
chaka_kahn 27th-Mar-2008 01:07 pm (UTC)
colossusx 27th-Mar-2008 01:34 pm (UTC)
whatever, most of these chicks are not cute
thegreatcurve 27th-Mar-2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
LOL -- What?

misselegy 27th-Mar-2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
Fuck, I was about to say...
hot143chocolate 27th-Mar-2008 01:42 pm (UTC)
celtic_thistle 27th-Mar-2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
My thoughts exactly.
thegreatcurve WOW - Feminists on ONTD!27th-Mar-2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
I never thought I'd see so many feminist voices (i.e., VOICES OF REASON) on ONTD.

Fuck this crap. If we're skinny and ugly we're not good enough. If we're beautiful and fat we're not good enough.

What's the point of posts like this other than to illustrate the fact that we're living in a patriarchal society?
_second_fiddle 27th-Mar-2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
morosa 27th-Mar-2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
ONTD is never lacking in that department. :\
squarebiz2you 27th-Mar-2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
Gah! No kidding! Jesus.
srnf87 27th-Mar-2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
Or, you know, a little misogyny every waking moment of our lives...ugh being a woman is SO difficult. I think that sounds more sarcastic than I meant but whatever.
ohinternets 27th-Mar-2008 04:48 pm (UTC)
IAWTCSFM. There's nothing wrong with most of these women.
avilewoman 27th-Mar-2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
IDK, there's nothing wrong with thinking someone's ugly. Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, after all, and we're all guilty of judging someone's looks. But IA that the language in this article is completely sexist, especially in Christina Ricci's entry. SLJ putting a leash on her? UGH.
excelente 27th-Mar-2008 06:14 pm (UTC)
Misogyny with a dash of hypocrisy! Deeeelish.
koalafrog 27th-Mar-2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
omg so much drama since I've been gone!
betelgeuse 27th-Mar-2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
joyasaurus_rex 27th-Mar-2008 09:43 pm (UTC)
igiveyoumylife 28th-Mar-2008 03:44 am (UTC)
iawtc and you rule.
baisernoir 27th-Mar-2008 11:59 am (UTC)
Back the fuck off Christina Ricci!

&dayum LJ cut.
rizzo 27th-Mar-2008 12:38 pm (UTC)
ia ia

She's the only one that I disagreed with.
fatheart 27th-Mar-2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
yeah, ha! lj cut... this post was so (en)grossing and mean spirited that i forgot that it didn't have cut.
sevenbeat 27th-Mar-2008 01:52 pm (UTC)
__allodoxa 27th-Mar-2008 02:06 pm (UTC)
you said the exact and only two things i came in here to say.
thank you!
aquagia 27th-Mar-2008 02:45 pm (UTC)
milkradio 27th-Mar-2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad there's a bunch of comments like this because she is actually really beautiful. WTF is up with this list, ugh >:(
emmakey 27th-Mar-2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
agreed on both counts
starry_eyed07 27th-Mar-2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
christina ricci shouldnt be on this list
picnmix 27th-Mar-2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
I agree.

Also, Haylie Duff looks like Tisdale gone wrong in the second picture of her.
badbitch86 27th-Mar-2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
i agree
colormebadd 27th-Mar-2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
Christina isn't a butterface
potatoboat 27th-Mar-2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
jesusnachos 27th-Mar-2008 01:43 pm (UTC)
sweet_atrocity 27th-Mar-2008 03:19 pm (UTC)
Yes she is.
sekhmet2 27th-Mar-2008 12:01 pm (UTC)
Lisa Rinna's lips could be used to float a platoon of tanks across a river.
imthelonely_one 27th-Mar-2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
i loled
snnat17 27th-Mar-2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
lol but true
welcome_to_1984 27th-Mar-2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
fergie ferg.
cherrybomb319 27th-Mar-2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
christina is beautiful. fuckers.
drawntoinsanity 27th-Mar-2008 04:28 pm (UTC)
<3 your icon!
useyourwords 27th-Mar-2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
The top 4 are absolutely horrendous.
jrh19782002 27th-Mar-2008 12:03 pm (UTC)
Vida Guerra has ass for days and april scott isnt ugly i just dont see it.
badbitch86 27th-Mar-2008 01:59 pm (UTC)
I agree, I've never heard of April Scott but her face is cute idg why she's on the list
hardcoresince3 27th-Mar-2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
i think april scott is pretty cute in the face. she's definitely not a butterface
alchimie_amour 27th-Mar-2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
If anything she's a "butterbody" - nice face, HORRID fake tits.
riseupabove 27th-Mar-2008 12:03 pm (UTC)
this list is shit and it should be under A CUT anyway.
hrhobo 27th-Mar-2008 12:04 pm (UTC)
holy shits with the cuts and the no cuts and the fug.

cellardor 27th-Mar-2008 12:04 pm (UTC)
I have to say I hate this post and everything it stands for.
summergirl719 27th-Mar-2008 12:06 pm (UTC)
supercat1983 27th-Mar-2008 12:13 pm (UTC)
Me too. What asshole, who probably has both an ugly face and a fat ass, wrote this commentary?
cellardor 27th-Mar-2008 12:15 pm (UTC)
I just looked at the site. The whole thing is that it's about 'real men'. Please. This is a group of men who think they're real men, who think being a real man is about drinking beer, having their jeans show their butt crack and slobbering over women they deem 'acceptable'. Women who, in their right minds, would not look at these slubs twice is my guess. Yeah, that's what I'm looking for in a real man. Losers.
travel_crazy 27th-Mar-2008 12:51 pm (UTC)

I expect all of these women are 10 times more attractive than the person who created the list anyway ;)
twilightballet 27th-Mar-2008 12:57 pm (UTC)
me too :( i feel bad for all the women on it. imagine what their reaction is once they find out they're on this list!!
iamcheryltweedy 27th-Mar-2008 02:07 pm (UTC)
freeze_i_say 27th-Mar-2008 12:05 pm (UTC)
diaf commentary.
breenah 27th-Mar-2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
agreed. none of them are ugly. granted, not generally "hott" but not ugly in the least.
except lisa rinna's lips. she was prettier when they were normal.
summergirl719 27th-Mar-2008 12:06 pm (UTC)
I think the person who wrote this (NOT the OP) is one of those dudes who lives in his mom's basement and spends all day jerking off.

sweetnitanitro 27th-Mar-2008 12:14 pm (UTC)
supercat1983 27th-Mar-2008 12:22 pm (UTC)
tree_pretty 27th-Mar-2008 12:34 pm (UTC)
irk? You can just tell that he's never known the touch of a woman.
rebel_waltz 27th-Mar-2008 03:14 pm (UTC)
ahahah yeah. one of those guys that thinks he's entitled to a model and can't understand why he never gets a date.
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