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5:31 pm - 11/16/2007
Hey guys Lets talk about Angelina's Boobs!
Angelina Jolie, Boobs, Star In Beowulf
Hey, did you hear? Beowulf, director Robert Zemeckis's epic fantasy opening today, stars Angelina Jolie's big golden boobs. Sure, they're touched up, and, yes, they seem to be missing an essential breast component, but these are Angelina's boobs we're talking about. And so are reviewers. How does the critical reception to the world's hottest woman's digitized breasts stack up? Like this:
• James Verniere, Boston Herald: "[H]ot-bodied Jolie ... does some spectacular near-nude, 3-digital sashaying in the film, complete with whipping satanic tail, enhanced boobs and built-in stiletto heels. I must admit that the males in the theater held their collective breath when Jolie's digitized sexbomb made her bewitching entrance."
• Tim Robey, Telegraph [UK]: "Angelina Jolie gets digital breast implants - would they have given Einstein a bigger brain?"
• Peter Bradshaw, Guardian [UK]: "Angelina Jolie is Grendel's hot mom, a vengeful creature appearing nude from the fiery lake and swathed in Shirley Eaton gold: voluptuous, but without that important secondary sexual characteristic which would have allowed her to breast-feed." [Ed Note: Nipples]
• Mary F. Pols, Mercury News: "She's buxom and so carefully buffed that her privates look like Barbie's. (Wouldn't you expect someone as politically correct as Jolie to have told Zemeckis, 'If you want my boobies, the rest of me better be anatomically correct'?)"
• Donald Clarke, Irish Times: "[T]he love scene between Beowulf and Angelina Jolie (very much herself as Ma Grendel) finds the actress stripped of genitals and nipples, but pumped up grotesquely in the breast area."
• Jeff Sawtell, Morning Star Online: "[W]e see a 3D shot of bulging breasts bursting out of the screen and Angelina Jolie as Grendal's seductive mum appearing in all her glory."
• Barry Paris, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: "The violence and male and female near-nudity are as racy as a PG-13 rating will allow, accommodating Jolie's computer-generated breasts. Neither she nor Winstone's character is anatomically correct, of course. Like Barbie and Ken, there's a lot of waxing involved."
• Manohla Dargis, New York Times: "You could poke your eye out with one of those things!"
Source
lol boobs
Hey, did you hear? Beowulf, director Robert Zemeckis's epic fantasy opening today, stars Angelina Jolie's big golden boobs. Sure, they're touched up, and, yes, they seem to be missing an essential breast component, but these are Angelina's boobs we're talking about. And so are reviewers. How does the critical reception to the world's hottest woman's digitized breasts stack up? Like this:
• James Verniere, Boston Herald: "[H]ot-bodied Jolie ... does some spectacular near-nude, 3-digital sashaying in the film, complete with whipping satanic tail, enhanced boobs and built-in stiletto heels. I must admit that the males in the theater held their collective breath when Jolie's digitized sexbomb made her bewitching entrance."
• Tim Robey, Telegraph [UK]: "Angelina Jolie gets digital breast implants - would they have given Einstein a bigger brain?"
• Peter Bradshaw, Guardian [UK]: "Angelina Jolie is Grendel's hot mom, a vengeful creature appearing nude from the fiery lake and swathed in Shirley Eaton gold: voluptuous, but without that important secondary sexual characteristic which would have allowed her to breast-feed." [Ed Note: Nipples]
• Mary F. Pols, Mercury News: "She's buxom and so carefully buffed that her privates look like Barbie's. (Wouldn't you expect someone as politically correct as Jolie to have told Zemeckis, 'If you want my boobies, the rest of me better be anatomically correct'?)"
• Donald Clarke, Irish Times: "[T]he love scene between Beowulf and Angelina Jolie (very much herself as Ma Grendel) finds the actress stripped of genitals and nipples, but pumped up grotesquely in the breast area."
• Jeff Sawtell, Morning Star Online: "[W]e see a 3D shot of bulging breasts bursting out of the screen and Angelina Jolie as Grendal's seductive mum appearing in all her glory."
• Barry Paris, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: "The violence and male and female near-nudity are as racy as a PG-13 rating will allow, accommodating Jolie's computer-generated breasts. Neither she nor Winstone's character is anatomically correct, of course. Like Barbie and Ken, there's a lot of waxing involved."
• Manohla Dargis, New York Times: "You could poke your eye out with one of those things!"
Source
lol boobs
she looks hot in that movie
hha
do. not. want.
shes hot regardless
like the person who plays them.
Can someone who has seen this / knows the details tell me how much they raped the original poem's story?
if they raped it bad or not haha.
Basically, Grendel is akin to a child with Down Syndrome, he kills people who come into his cave or whatever so Beowulf kills him. Grendel's mother is with him when he dies, gets the name of the person who killed him, and when Beowulf comes back she seduces him and gets pregnant. Years later, old King Beowulf returns and there is a golden man who is his son. I got bored so I stopped reading there.
So, not Grendel's father as I originally thought they were going to make him, but father of Grendel's mother's spawn, nonetheless.
Ugh. I was so excited when I first heard about this but that's not QUITE the poem I remember reading. Fucking Hollywood.
i've read the book, but i haven't seen the movie, but i can tell you first hand that if beowulf and grendel's scary ass mother have a sex scene then this is NOTHING like the poem.
not that the original beowulf is that great to begin with, but it doesn't deserve the jolie treatment.